Growing Deeper

  The very next week, my friend took me to a Christian Book Store in our little town. She told me that she would like to buy me a Bible. I was very surprised that she would do that for  me. It was a new thing, a friend that would buy me something that would benefit just me. She said it was very important for me to start to have time to read "Gods Word" ( as she called it), the Bible. I ended up picking out a small burgandy leather bound King James Bible. She and I went back to her house and she sat down with me and showed me how to start learning about Jesus. The Bible would not be like any other book I had read. She said for me, it would be good to start in the New Testament, the Gospel of John.  She explained that I should take it slow, maybe a chapter a day. And actually read about Jesus and His ministry.  She also explained something to me that she called a "quiet time." She showed me her prayer journal, a small three-ring binder that she had. In it were section...

 We entered the church and there were about 100 women there. We walked to a row of chairs and sat down.  I was nervous. I didn't really know what to expect.    A woman walked up on the stage there, and introduced herself and then proceeded to lead everyone in songs that were in a pamphlet that was handed to all of us at the door when we arrived there. The songs were really beautiful, and the women there were singing with all their hearts. I was uncomfortable at first, but quickly became enveloped in a peace and presence I wasn't familiar with . These women were singing to the Lord. It made me cry. I was so embarrassed, to be crying. I didn't understand  exactly why I was crying. My lady friend handed me some tissues, and said, "Its okay, don't be embarrassed."   After 3 songs, a lady walked across the stage and started speaking. I cannot remember today exactly what she was speaking about. I just felt that something was happening to me. I felt that God was u...

  Monday came and went. I thought a lot about  my  weekend while I worked at my job in the factory and when I got home. A couple days later,  I stopped in at my lady friends house again. I didn't share with her how I spent my weekend but I realized somehow I needed to change what my life was all about. I needed something; but I had no clue what that was.  Months earlier, I realized that I couldn't leave my husband. I had no where to go. I had no money. We lived paycheck to paycheck. I couldn't leave my kids with HER.. the "other woman".  You see, she lived with us. She was our babysitter. After I found out what was going on at my house with her, I made her leave. I learned that my trying to help someone , (she had it really bad at home) doesn't always work out for me. And... I DID come to believe  that, "No good deed is left unpunished"...Yes, life was a total MESS!    Just a year earlier, life had seemed so promising when we moved down here ...

 It was August 1979, it was hot out and it was a Saturday. I was having another bad day. Upset with the way  my life was for me at that time.   I heard about a party going on that night, in a town close by, that someone had mentioned to me at my work. I worked in a factory and most of the friends I had, worked there too,   I decided, why not go.... my husband at that time had pretty much showed me that I didn't matter, what I felt, didn't matter either. He was involved with another woman, and he had no apologies.   So, I went to the party, I don't remember how I got there or how I got home. I was doing a lot self medicating with Red Bud and pills. When I think back to those days, I can hardly believe how messed up I was. Grasping at straws to cope  and to make my life seem "normal."   My husband  and I had 3 kids. They were 6,4,and 2 years old. We lived in a very small 2 bedroom apartment in a little town in South Eastern Michigan.   Anyway, ...

The alarm went off. "Time to get the kids ready for school," was my first thought. Heading for the kitchen, I searched for what was my first real desire of the day, and every day, my cigarettes.    After opening a fresh pack from the kitchen cupboard, I lit up a cigarette and put it in the ashtray. Then I filled the coffee pot with water and pushed the button on top of the stove to "HIGH".   Everyday it seemed to be getting worse. My problem wasn't going away. As God's Spirit was convicting me, I was in bondage to those little white cancer sticks.  I'd been saved for two and a half years, and since I was first saved, I felt God convicting me of my habit.   He was also trying to make me realize   that I had deliverance from that habit.  " He who the Son has set free, is free indeed."    How many times had I asked for complete deliverance from cigarettes? Only to fall short and light up again.  I'd cut down to a pack a day in my own eff...

Pursue... What a word! Chasing after, making a big priority in a persons life, a focus of great importance.   In my life I tend to get excited about new projects, new recipes, new ideas. I have always been somewhat overly excited in the beginning of something new.  But being true to form, after a little while I tend to not be so gun-ho about it. It ends up getting "lost in the sauce" of life and gone from my mind. That usually happens more so with new workouts, and diets, and crafts. I don't have enough fingers to count how many times this has happened, that I didn't stick with something, because I found it just was too hard, or it turned out to be not what I thought in the beginning, or  I just lost interest.   Another kind of pursuit is the kind that my husband showed when he found me. He came to see me practically every day!  He didn't mind driving to my house everyday after a shift at his work. He drove through winter weather, on  not so great roads...

" Come and listen to my counsel, I will share my heart with you and make you wise."                                                                                                              Proverbs 1:23   Talk about a great privilege!  God invites us to be in His inner circle! He wants us to know His heart on all things. His view, His way, His truth!!  Who with great power or wealth or clout do you know that would do that?  Who would be so humble to reach down to our level to bring us into such a place of wisdom.  Only God.  No  ruler... No president... No king...   But our God,  the great I AM does that for us. He comes  to us. He doesn't have to do that...