Growing Deeper

 It was August 1979, it was hot out and it was a Saturday. I was having another bad day. Upset with the way  my life was for me at that time.   I heard about a party going on that night, in a town close by, that someone had mentioned to me at my work. I worked in a factory and most of the friends I had, worked there too,   I decided, why not go.... my husband at that time had pretty much showed me that I didn't matter, what I felt, didn't matter either. He was involved with another woman, and he had no apologies.   So, I went to the party, I don't remember how I got there or how I got home. I was doing a lot self medicating with Red Bud and pills. When I think back to those days, I can hardly believe how messed up I was. Grasping at straws to cope  and to make my life seem "normal."   My husband  and I had 3 kids. They were 6,4,and 2 years old. We lived in a very small 2 bedroom apartment in a little town in South Eastern Michigan.   Anyway, ...

The alarm went off. "Time to get the kids ready for school," was my first thought. Heading for the kitchen, I searched for what was my first real desire of the day, and every day, my cigarettes.    After opening a fresh pack from the kitchen cupboard, I lit up a cigarette and put it in the ashtray. Then I filled the coffee pot with water and pushed the button on top of the stove to "HIGH".   Everyday it seemed to be getting worse. My problem wasn't going away. As God's Spirit was convicting me, I was in bondage to those little white cancer sticks.  I'd been saved for two and a half years, and since I was first saved, I felt God convicting me of my habit.   He was also trying to make me realize   that I had deliverance from that habit.  " He who the Son has set free, is free indeed."    How many times had I asked for complete deliverance from cigarettes? Only to fall short and light up again.  I'd cut down to a pack a day in my own eff...

Pursue... What a word! Chasing after, making a big priority in a persons life, a focus of great importance.   In my life I tend to get excited about new projects, new recipes, new ideas. I have always been somewhat overly excited in the beginning of something new.  But being true to form, after a little while I tend to not be so gun-ho about it. It ends up getting "lost in the sauce" of life and gone from my mind. That usually happens more so with new workouts, and diets, and crafts. I don't have enough fingers to count how many times this has happened, that I didn't stick with something, because I found it just was too hard, or it turned out to be not what I thought in the beginning, or  I just lost interest.   Another kind of pursuit is the kind that my husband showed when he found me. He came to see me practically every day!  He didn't mind driving to my house everyday after a shift at his work. He drove through winter weather, on  not so great roads...

" Come and listen to my counsel, I will share my heart with you and make you wise."                                                                                                              Proverbs 1:23   Talk about a great privilege!  God invites us to be in His inner circle! He wants us to know His heart on all things. His view, His way, His truth!!  Who with great power or wealth or clout do you know that would do that?  Who would be so humble to reach down to our level to bring us into such a place of wisdom.  Only God.  No  ruler... No president... No king...   But our God,  the great I AM does that for us. He comes  to us. He doesn't have to do that...

+" The kings heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord; he guides it wherever he pleases."                                                                                                                   Proverbs 21:1NLT  "The kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, as  the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."                                                                                                       ...

" Your eyes saw me unformed yet in Your book all my days were written, before any of them came into being.How precious also are Your thoughts of me O God! If I should count them, they are more in numbert than the sand..."  Psalm 139:16-17   My brother  unexpectedly  passed away right after Christmas. He was 58. He had a heart attack, and passed away immediately.   We were not close. But even so, we  loved each other, and kept in touch through the years.    My parents divorced when  I was 15 and Ken was 8. He went with my Dad and my twin sister and I stayed with our Mother.  That meant that we were states apart. We went our separate ways and lived very separate, different  lives. Ken grew up and became a Fireman and EMT. My sister and I both married right out of high school to dairy farmers and became wives and mothers .  Kenny was adopted.  He was the son our father always wanted. Dad and Mom  picked him up at...

" We give thanks to God always for you all, mentioning you in our prayers...                                                                                                 1 Thessalonians 1:2   It's a really tough, reality, this week.  Many of our troops are being deployed  yet again.  It is hard for them, and their loved ones. Yes, they signed up for this, and for that I am truly  grateful and in awe. I have never been in the military, but I can see even as a civilian, that becoming a soldier is  quite a sacrifice.  These men and women are defending our freedom. They are on their way across the world to help us to keep our freedoms, here in the U.S.A.   It's quite a privilege  to live in this country...